"put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24
Why do Christians who go to church regularly, read the Bible, and read multiple Christian self-help books still not find help for their problems? I have wondered this many times over the years. I have counseled many well-meaning Christians who ask me why they continually struggle with emotional issues, sinful habits, and unhealthy relationships in their marriage and family.
Many people struggle to see past the surface problems in their lives and remain stuck. They do not understand how to live out of their new heart and fail to address the root issues.
Here are six essential characteristics of people who get unstuck.
1. Acknowledge the problem- demonstrate humility and accept the fact that you have a problem. I know this seems obvious, but it is not easy. Pride can get in the way. Often, God uses suffering in our lives to demonstrate His grace. James 4:6, "But he gives more grace. Therefore, it says, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
2. Genuine Repentance- a willingness to see the problem from God's perspective and do whatever it takes to address the issue. 2 Corinthians 7:11 "For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point, you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter."
3. Change of heart- with genuine repentance, a change of heart will follow. Lasting change cannot come from intellectual assent alone or be accomplished through self-effort. Luke 6:43-45 "For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaks.
4. Honesty- As I am honest with God, myself, and others, I learn to walk in the truth and rebuild trust. Ephesians 4:25 "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another."
5. Transparency- Accountability is only as good as transparency. When I am transparent with others who can help me with my problems, I can get the help I need. Psalm 139:23,24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"
6. Teachable- Learning to apply Biblical principles in your life. How does God want me to live differently? As you receive the Word of God and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, the demonstration of the fruit of righteousness will be in your life. Philippians 1:9-11 "And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God."
Thank you for your prayers and continued support in helping hurting people. I pray that the Lord will use these posts to encourage and help you in your walk with Jesus!